please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
