i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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