We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
