i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize