physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
