just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
