Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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