he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
