I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
