Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
