sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
