I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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