Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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