Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
