"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
