May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
