I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
