How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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