I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
