I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
