how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize