Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
