Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
