Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize