There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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