Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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