Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Barsexuality is the new black.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
