Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
