I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
