it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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