How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
