I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
