i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
