You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
