Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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