Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
