my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
