Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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