Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
whose parrot is this?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize