You really coming over, don't trick.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize