Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Randomize
