no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
