fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm passing your future prison.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
