My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
