Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
