Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
