I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Randomize
