I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
