are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
