She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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