Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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