This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
