I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
