the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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