there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
