Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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