And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
