I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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