PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
