GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
