we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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