i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize