So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
