Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize