It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
