I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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