He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize