Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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