You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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