I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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