So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
