You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
