I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
