He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
