the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
