gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
