Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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