Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
