when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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