How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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