best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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