They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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