He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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