i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
