did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I will pee on everything he values.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
