i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
